Menage à Trois Bingo

People keep trying to tell me to concentrate on the good things in my life, but it's very very hard right now. There's a voice in the back of my mind telling me I'll never find the network of love that I want, that I'm completely unsexy and undesirable, that I might as well give the whole poly thing up and even that I should never have left Ray because he was my one and only chance.

Good things in my life

• Jen. We've been together nearly three years now, weathered a few very bad times, and we're still in love. We're silly together. We think alike far too often. ("Get out of my head!") We have the same twisted sense of humor. We like the same things. She is beautiful and dedicated and loving and intelligent and witty. She'll be a wonderful parent to Rosa one day. We've recently committed ourselves to spending more time together, and I continue to hope that she and Phaelen will move into my house.


• Rosa. 'nuff said.


• I'm slowly making new local friends.


• A lot of people really do love me, even though the relationships don't grow the way I hoped.


• Snuggles and cuddles.


• Going out with friends.


• I have a lovely house and am making it into a home.


• Intimacy with Mother Earth (gardening).


• Gaming. Maybe it's time to re-start AE:R.


• I've got a good job I enjoy


• I'm even getting along with Ray of late.

Why *I'm* a good and valuable person

• I'm creative. Hmm. Get back into AW, or start some other creative project...


• I'm a good listener.


• I'm intelligent.


• I'm witty and sarcastic and smartassed (yes, this is a good thing in my book).


• I love fiercely and deeply.


• I am a good and dedicated mother.

But I can't convince myself to believe I'm beautiful or sexy. *sigh*