Menage à Trois Bingo

On the phone with the ex-husband, discussing next weekend. I tell him my parents are coming for the concert. He says, "Are they going to be okay with that show. I mean there's a lot of homosexuals there..."

I say, "They'll be fine, and also that word is only used by people who are being disparaging."

He says, "What am I supposed to call people who have same-sex attraction?"

I say, "That phrase also is only used by people who are disparaging."

He says he's apparently not politically correct but he doesn't mean to be insulting. I do not have either time or inclination to teach him appropriate language usage as I am sitting at my work desk with half the office around me. But seriously, he sounds exactly like the oh-so-concerned "love the sinner hate the sin" crowd.

Wish I'd thought to answer his question with "People."

Mai prezdint, let me sho u him.

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Tuesday was a very emotional day. Driving to work, listening to NPR as usual, I started crying every time they interviewed an ordinary Joe or Jane about their experiences. Didn't get an opportunity to watch the inauguration festivities myself, even though $COMPANY had a big-screen set up for the purpose: too busy. This may be for the best, as a face covered in tears, even happy hopeful ones, is not the professional image I try to project.

Then I cried the next day at my lunch table while reading the text of Obama's inauguration speech.

Still haven't watched any of the ceremonies beyond what's been on the regular news coverage. Chris tivoed it though, so I will do that soon.

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Wednesday I printed out a copy of +Gene Robinson's invocation from Sunday and stuck it to my cubicle wall, where it remains. I made another one and stuck it on the wall in the break room, but that one has mysteriously disappeared. I'm not really surprised; I expected that to happen. After all, when I occasionally find anonymous copies of homophobic, racist or sexist nonsense posted or left on tables in the breakrooms, or still on the printer, I throw them in the wastebasket immediately like the trash they are. I suspect the anonymous leaver of such things found Bishop Robinson's prayer offensive and did likewise.

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Wednesday night was the $COMPANY service awards banquet. I have just completed ten years of service (officially--I worked a year for them as a contractor prior to that), so I was up for an award. When the invitation came, Chris said, "I went with you last time so you should take your girlfriend. It's her turn." After some trepidation, we decided to do just that.

Spent a goodly part of Wednesday afternoon agonizing over the just-right fashion choices, including a purchase of new shoes for each of us, and ended up wearing velvet dresses and tall shoes. Tall enough that I could look Chris in the eye.

Coworkers were...daunted, I think. Everyone was very nice to Tammie, whom I introduced as "my girlfriend Tammie". I let people think that meant whatever they liked to think it meant. It did make one person eat his words, though. He said, "something-something your friend," where we were going to leave it, but then he asked how we know each other. Tammie said, "Um, we live together." He recovered well, though, following up with "and how did you meet?"

I am gratified, for the purpose of my continued employment, that I did not think of the obvious response to "how do you know each other?" until the next evening. Somehow I don't think "carnally" would have been a good choice of riposte under the circumstances.

I didn't sleep very well that night, in part due to temperature issues with the heat in the house, and in part because I was nervous about work the next day. I know what a rumor mill this place is, and I was concerned that people would have been gossiping about me. *shrug* They may well have, but it's been two days now and I haven't heard a single word of it. Either people are minding their own business, they interpreted 'girlfriend' according to their heterocentric mindset as 'close female buddy', or they're managing some really quiet talk that hasn't yet reached any of my closest friends.

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I got nuthin else. I just like to say "President Obama".

The office is having a bake sale on Valentine's Day, to benefit Mercy Ministries International. It's a group home, "for girls 13-28 who are experiencing life-controlling disorders". (Quoted from the website.)

I am of several minds about this. I'm disturbed because they're clearly and unabashedly a Christian charity--they require church attendance and bible study from their residents and declare that Jesus will save girls from all of their problems--and direct support of religious organizations by a company strikes me as inappropriate. I can downplay this reaction by reminding myself that employee participation is voluntary, if difficult to resist.

But the other things that are troubling me are harder to counter. One of the "life-controlling disorders" they treat is "unwed pregnancy", and there's an adoption agency attached to the home. Pregnant girls are apparently given only two choices: keep the baby or give it up for adoption, and "pregnant girls are given priority because there is such a brief window to make the decision for life" (this is a paraphrase--to the best of my recollection--from an interview with founder Nancy Alcorn in Christianity Today). It leaves me with a flavor of Magdalene Laundry or adoption mill. They do state that girls must make the application themselves and choose for themselves to go there, but it seems to me that it would be easy to coerce a frightened teenager into applying. I can't tell how stringent the checks are that might prevent coercion.

And then there's the concern that same-sex attraction might also be one of the "life-controlling disorders" they treat. This is purely out of my head, and nothing I could find supports it, but on the other hand there's very little to indicate that if, for example, a girl's self-injury is due to inability to reconcile her suppressed lesbian desires with her religion that she'd be encouraged--or even allowed--to come out. I did find one blog that stated that Mercy Ministries has no position one way or the other on homosexuality, but no information directly from the source to corroborate or disprove that.

Also there's the emphasis placed on abstinence from sex (again from the Christianity Today interview). Maybe that makes some sense for teenagers--maybe--but for adult women it's ridiculous. Alcorn talks about having dated a man who lived in another city, and when he came to visit she didn't even let him sleep on her couch, because proximity might be too tempting.

Lastly, and maybe this is stupid, but calling women up to age 28 "girls" is offensive.

On the other hand, chocolate. But seriously. There is probably a need for places like this, and most of my concerns are purely guilt-by-association and what-if. So is it a decent-enough charity to give a couple bucks to for the immediate gratification of a sugar rush, or even the value of a cake or plate of brownies?

I've spent a fair amount of time googling in hopes of finding something concrete, but there's nothing. Does anyone have any other information on this organization, good or bad?

1. Should I bake/buy something to donate to the sale?
2. Should I buy anything from the sale?

This has the potential to be interesting, in the Chinese sense. I feel
that Rosa's school experience will be better if we are able to be open
with the school about our family configuration. So I called up the
Catholic school today and asked them some questions.

I said I had read a news item about a child somewhere being refused
entry to a Catholic school because her parents were a lesbian couple. (I
can't actually remember whether the parents were men or women. But it
doesn't matter for the purpose.) I asked whether that was a policy or
just that particular school. The secretary didn't know. She said it had
never come up before, but it "might be a problem." Would I like to talk
to the principal? I said yes, and proceeded to ask him the same
question. I got much the same answer, along with "I'd have to check with
the pastor and the archdiocesan council, but it would seem to conflict
with our Statement of Christian Witness."

Said item turns out to be some sort of document that the enrollee's
parents are supposed to sign. I have asked them to send me a copy, since
it normally isn't part of the registration process but is sent home
later, "after school starts." If I can't assent to whatever is contained
in that document, then I'm not going to allow Rosa to be enrolled there.
But I gave them my proper name and mailing address to send it to, so
there is no more chance of closeting ourselves with that school in any
case.

When I told Tammie this, she wondered how long it would take for the
gossip mill to get back to Ray's family. I'd like to hope the school
administration could be more discreet than *that*, but well, another
day, another adventure.

The moment one has a sudden urge to kiss a coworker in the lunchroom is a good time to just leave the room without speaking to her.

Snow White is Rosa's favorite movie. We were watching it tonight, and she announced, "Someday my Princess will come."