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Oct. 24th, 2007 11:52 pmKathy called this evening. The house is still intact and they expect to be allowed to return home tomorrow.
This episode has crystallized a feeling I've had for some time. I'm nostalgic for the days when I believed in prayer. Now I believe that there's nothing I can actually do to influence the outcome. I can wish and hope all I like, but winds and flames will do what they will do. Back then, there was *something*. I don't even know what to say to show concern: somehow "I hope for the best" seems so ineffectual.
I'm thinking the "power of prayer" was in making ME feel like I had the capacity to do something. Is that why people pray for their sports teams to win? Because they certainly can't get out there on the field and influence the game, but if they just pray hard enough...
There's a lot of things I'd pray for if I believed in it. But I don't, and I'm at a loss. I can't stop feeling like I ought to be able to do *something* but I have no idea what it is.
This episode has crystallized a feeling I've had for some time. I'm nostalgic for the days when I believed in prayer. Now I believe that there's nothing I can actually do to influence the outcome. I can wish and hope all I like, but winds and flames will do what they will do. Back then, there was *something*. I don't even know what to say to show concern: somehow "I hope for the best" seems so ineffectual.
I'm thinking the "power of prayer" was in making ME feel like I had the capacity to do something. Is that why people pray for their sports teams to win? Because they certainly can't get out there on the field and influence the game, but if they just pray hard enough...
There's a lot of things I'd pray for if I believed in it. But I don't, and I'm at a loss. I can't stop feeling like I ought to be able to do *something* but I have no idea what it is.
