(no subject)
Jul. 4th, 2025 06:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
agonyauntDear Pay Dirt,
I grew up in poverty, where we were always on the edge of eviction. If it wasn’t for school, my siblings and I wouldn’t have eaten. It left a large mark on me. I am much more financially conservative than my husband. I have also been the main breadwinner since we married. We need a cushion before even thinking about kids, it’s really important to me. But my in-laws don’t care!
My sisters-in-law grew up in luxury, graduated with degrees they never used, and married rich. Ever since we got married, they constantly try to pressure us to have kids. When I’ve said we want to be more financially stable, they blow me off and say that “families do it all the time” and that “God will provide.” I have told my mother-in-law and husband how condescending this nonsense is to me. They both said that everyone just wants the “best” for us.
Recently, my sister-in-law started in on me again with her breeding propaganda: How I wasn’t getting any younger (I turned 33 this year); That there “never a perfect time to have a baby;” and how “Divine Providence provides for everyone.” Well I finally lost my temper. I asked her where was God the times I went hungry to give food to my younger siblings? Or how is he providing for starving kids in war zones? She started to cry, so now I am the villain. My in-laws told my husband I need therapy. My reply is that maybe my actual life experience and personhood is worth a drop of empathy, and they should stop treating me like I was a sow at market. How can I get them to realize that not everyone is rich like they are and that some of us do need to save and plan for kids?
—Not Breeding Anytime Soon
( Read more... )
I grew up in poverty, where we were always on the edge of eviction. If it wasn’t for school, my siblings and I wouldn’t have eaten. It left a large mark on me. I am much more financially conservative than my husband. I have also been the main breadwinner since we married. We need a cushion before even thinking about kids, it’s really important to me. But my in-laws don’t care!
My sisters-in-law grew up in luxury, graduated with degrees they never used, and married rich. Ever since we got married, they constantly try to pressure us to have kids. When I’ve said we want to be more financially stable, they blow me off and say that “families do it all the time” and that “God will provide.” I have told my mother-in-law and husband how condescending this nonsense is to me. They both said that everyone just wants the “best” for us.
Recently, my sister-in-law started in on me again with her breeding propaganda: How I wasn’t getting any younger (I turned 33 this year); That there “never a perfect time to have a baby;” and how “Divine Providence provides for everyone.” Well I finally lost my temper. I asked her where was God the times I went hungry to give food to my younger siblings? Or how is he providing for starving kids in war zones? She started to cry, so now I am the villain. My in-laws told my husband I need therapy. My reply is that maybe my actual life experience and personhood is worth a drop of empathy, and they should stop treating me like I was a sow at market. How can I get them to realize that not everyone is rich like they are and that some of us do need to save and plan for kids?
—Not Breeding Anytime Soon
( Read more... )
The Friday Five for 4 July 2025
Jul. 3rd, 2025 03:27 pmanais_pf posting in thefridayfiveThis week's questions were suggested by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lord_azurewave.
1. Who is your best friend?
2. Why did you become friends?
3. How did you meet?
4. Why have you stayed friends?
5. How long (realistically) do you think you'll be friends?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
**Remember that we rely on you, our members, to help keep the community going. Also, please remember to play nice. We are all here to answer the questions and have fun each week. We repost the questions exactly as the original posters submitted them and request that all questions be checked for spelling and grammatical errors before they're submitted. Comments re: the spelling and grammatical nature of the questions are not necessary. Honestly, any hostile, rude, petty, or unnecessary comments need not be posted, either.**
lord_azurewave. 1. Who is your best friend?
2. Why did you become friends?
3. How did you meet?
4. Why have you stayed friends?
5. How long (realistically) do you think you'll be friends?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
**Remember that we rely on you, our members, to help keep the community going. Also, please remember to play nice. We are all here to answer the questions and have fun each week. We repost the questions exactly as the original posters submitted them and request that all questions be checked for spelling and grammatical errors before they're submitted. Comments re: the spelling and grammatical nature of the questions are not necessary. Honestly, any hostile, rude, petty, or unnecessary comments need not be posted, either.**
Fancake Theme for July: Working Together
Jul. 3rd, 2025 09:23 amrunpunkrun posting in fandomcalendar
fancake is a thematic recommendation community where all members are welcome to post recs, and fanworks of all shapes and sizes are accepted. Check out the community guidelines for the full set of rules. This theme runs for the entire month. If you have any questions, just ask!
(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2025 11:38 pmconuly posting in agonyauntDear Care and Feeding,
Our house sits on a heavily wooded hill, and there isn’t much in terms of street lights—and no sidewalks. Though there are only a few houses on our bend of the road, we get people speeding through. We have new neighbors. The mother’s behavior is going to end in tragedy.
The neighbors have several very small children. The mom, for some unholy reason, thinks nothing of letting them bike in the street. She lets her babies ride around well ahead of her as she strolls leisurely several yards behind. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.
My husband has already had a close call with one of the kids. He was backing out and the toddler zoomed right behind the bumper. Luckily, my husband was paying attention and was fast to put his foot on the brake. Even going as slow as he was, just a few miles per hour, it would have been a tragedy if he hadn’t been alert.
The mother’s reaction was to lay into my husband for not being careful enough! The kicker is that she said her kids have a right to play in the street. (There is a park five blocks away, but that is too far for her to go, apparently.) My husband said it was a bad conversation.
What do we do here? It would haunt me if one of these kids got hit because their mother was too lazy to care.
—Blind Corner
( Read more... )
Our house sits on a heavily wooded hill, and there isn’t much in terms of street lights—and no sidewalks. Though there are only a few houses on our bend of the road, we get people speeding through. We have new neighbors. The mother’s behavior is going to end in tragedy.
The neighbors have several very small children. The mom, for some unholy reason, thinks nothing of letting them bike in the street. She lets her babies ride around well ahead of her as she strolls leisurely several yards behind. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.
My husband has already had a close call with one of the kids. He was backing out and the toddler zoomed right behind the bumper. Luckily, my husband was paying attention and was fast to put his foot on the brake. Even going as slow as he was, just a few miles per hour, it would have been a tragedy if he hadn’t been alert.
The mother’s reaction was to lay into my husband for not being careful enough! The kicker is that she said her kids have a right to play in the street. (There is a park five blocks away, but that is too far for her to go, apparently.) My husband said it was a bad conversation.
What do we do here? It would haunt me if one of these kids got hit because their mother was too lazy to care.
—Blind Corner
( Read more... )
Wishlist Wednesday
Jul. 2nd, 2025 02:39 pmdancing_serpent posting in c_entWishlist Wednesdays are intended as a catch-all for anything you'd like to ask for in a casual, low-stress setting. No need to create a separate entry to the comm (although you are always welcome to do that, too), just leave a comment with your request right here under this entry.
It can be anything. Are you looking for icons of a specific drama or actor? Do you need a beta for your fic? Do you want to know where to buy merchandise of something? You can ask for recs of any kind (fanfic, drama, novel, music, whatever), or even leave specific fic prompts that others might be able to fill. Or whatever else that you can think of. Right now we're still kinda experimenting with this format, after all.
Feel free to discuss wishes/requests in the comments. And if you want to fill a request, feel free to do so right in the comments, too, or make a separate entry to the comm.
And please also check out the previous entries!
Multiple wishes/requests are definitely all right, just post a new top level comment for each. It would make it easier for people who might be interested in helping you out. The only thing I'd suggest for now is that you hide possible spoilers in the usual ways:
or
It can be anything. Are you looking for icons of a specific drama or actor? Do you need a beta for your fic? Do you want to know where to buy merchandise of something? You can ask for recs of any kind (fanfic, drama, novel, music, whatever), or even leave specific fic prompts that others might be able to fill. Or whatever else that you can think of. Right now we're still kinda experimenting with this format, after all.
Feel free to discuss wishes/requests in the comments. And if you want to fill a request, feel free to do so right in the comments, too, or make a separate entry to the comm.
And please also check out the previous entries!
Multiple wishes/requests are definitely all right, just post a new top level comment for each. It would make it easier for people who might be interested in helping you out. The only thing I'd suggest for now is that you hide possible spoilers in the usual ways:
or
Ask A Manager: refusing to work for a customer for moral reasons,
Jul. 1st, 2025 11:38 amminoanmiss posting in agonyaunt[Be warned, the the main discussion of the post is s about #3, a letter about a coworker with gastric issues. At least people are being pretty good about labeling their responses. Beyond the ... details... it is fast descending into a fight between proponents and opponents of ableism. Thhs is letter #1] about the ethics of refusing service.( Read more... )
Monthly Round-Up
Jul. 1st, 2025 11:39 amdancing_serpent posting in c_entThis is the monthly round-up for June 2025.
• Fanvid for: 双兔 | Soul Sisters
• Wishlist Wednesday
• Cover reveals for The Beauty's Blade!
• Topic Tuesday: Underrated Dramas
• Graphics/Picspam for: Xiao Zhan as Zang Hai for Wet Man Wednesday!
• Fanvids for: Hikaru no Go, Justice in the Dark
• Quick Rec Wednesday
• Review for: Lament of the River Immortal (Feud)
• Promo/Rec for: Into the Fire (Hong Kong film, 1989)
• Review for: Justice in the Dark
• Fanvids for: Justice in the Dark fanvid + Silent Reading song translations
• Did You Make a Thing?
• Last chance! Pingxie Exchange sign-ups end tomorrow
• Fanvid for: 双镜 | Couple of Mirrors
• DC-Slash Con Seeking Panel Suggestions Today
And of course we had the monthly round-up for May 2025 and our weekly chats on the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the 28th
Did you discover an entry you missed? Come on over and take a look/comment!
• Fanvid for: 双兔 | Soul Sisters
• Wishlist Wednesday
• Cover reveals for The Beauty's Blade!
• Topic Tuesday: Underrated Dramas
• Graphics/Picspam for: Xiao Zhan as Zang Hai for Wet Man Wednesday!
• Fanvids for: Hikaru no Go, Justice in the Dark
• Quick Rec Wednesday
• Review for: Lament of the River Immortal (Feud)
• Promo/Rec for: Into the Fire (Hong Kong film, 1989)
• Review for: Justice in the Dark
• Fanvids for: Justice in the Dark fanvid + Silent Reading song translations
• Did You Make a Thing?
• Last chance! Pingxie Exchange sign-ups end tomorrow
• Fanvid for: 双镜 | Couple of Mirrors
• DC-Slash Con Seeking Panel Suggestions Today
And of course we had the monthly round-up for May 2025 and our weekly chats on the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the 28th
Did you discover an entry you missed? Come on over and take a look/comment!
![[admin post]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/admin_post.png){kind=small}
Rebuilding journal search again
Jun. 30th, 2025 03:18 pmalierak posting in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
dw_maintenanceWe're having to rebuild the search server again (previously, previously). It will take a few days to reindex all the content.
Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.