Menage à Trois Bingo

Received in email from Work!Chris, who was not privy to the "Schindler's List has nudity!!11!!eleventy-one!!!" conversation...

I was reading some forum not long ago (I don’t remember where or exactly what the original topic was) and some parent had suddenly really gone off the deep-end about children being exposed to top-free (or clothing optional) beaches.

He stated that he would be horribly embarrassed if he were on a beach with his 14 year old son, and there was a topless woman there. He further said that ALL parents would feel this way, and anyone who didn’t agree either wasn’t a parent, or was lying. He got several responses to the contrary, but my favorite was one where the respondent wrote new lyrics to John Lennon’s “Imagine”.

The only thing I know about the new lyric writer was that the first name was Ian (at least, that's what some other writer used when complementing his creativity).
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imagine there's no nipples
it's easy if you try
no awkward sweater features
that poke us in the eye

imagine proper women... dressing properly...

i...
imagine no more sex drive
i wonder if you can
no need for procreation
or using just one hand

imagine all the people, keeping it in their pants

you...
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
i hope someday you'll join us
it's so high-minded, but it's no fun

imagine no more women
it isn't hard to do
no one to cuddle or win over
and no distractions too

imagine all the people, getting back to work

you... you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not completely gone
i just don't like the human body
and i was born with clothing on

Given my hassles with Catbert, I found this high-larious.